Monthly Archives: March 2016


I was the child of the ocean
a brother of the shore
an amphibian
picking pebbles by the day
and swimming naked by the night
What if I walk along the line today
and tell you that I do not
know how to swim anymore?
That the thought of drowning
now terrifies a man who’d boldly freestyle
and lazily backstroke in the salt of the ocean?
I do not know why it happened
but I remember almost sinking once
it was high tide
and I wasn’t too careful
What does one think of
when the froth brims up to
your lips
gushes into your nostrils?
I only remember terror
I was saved
I remember being carried to the beach
in the arms of my mother
resuscitated and resurrected
I woke up, seeing people
and you.
I did not know then
That we would come this far
How do I tell you today
when you are on your sick leave?
And who else do I tell
That it still haunts me
to even wander out into the low tide
under the moonlight?
That I do not know where my home is anymore
That my gills disappeared
And my lungs still fear being engulfed
What if I told you
That it frightens me
when you venture out into the night
and saunter along the sands
loving the solitude that the breeze of
an ocean brings upon the turmoil inside you
that you might find the remains
of a child who almost died here?

What if I told you
that I’m out tonight
and determined to swim again?
What would you do?
Would you come out to save me then?
Or would you swim with me?

Sometimes when I stare into your eyes, I fear you would write the same poem for me.



My tryst with sadness
is a bubbling cauldron
of various concoctions of
unanswered questions,
of questions I inescapably
bury my head into,
of questions that take me
back into the past,
I think of simpler times
I remember a carefree
vivacious child
who hadn’t the slightest idea
of a despondence that was about
to drown him,
an unexplained and extended digression
from a conviviality
which I don’t know how to rationalize
other than as life
The past is a toxic landscape
the past is a kingdom among clouds
But why can I not help my
longing for it today?

It engulfs me
It makes me become a person
I do not want to be
But I am not afraid
I have been acquiring armour
I have been battling